This blog task is part of thinking activity given by Dr. Dilip Barad Sir. I'll do my utmost to respond the questions.
• Translated Poem: "Mujh Se Pehli Si Mohabbat" by Faiz Ahmed Faiz
ChatGPT Hindi Translation:
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग
मैंने समझा था कि तू है तो दरख़्शां है हयात,
तेरा ग़म है तो ग़म-ए-दहर का झगड़ा क्या है।
तेरी सूरत से है आलम में बहारों को सबात,
तेरी आँखों के सिवा दुनिया में रखा क्या है।
तू जो मिल जाए तो तक़दीर निगूँ हो जाए,
यूँ न था, मैंने फ़क़त चाहा था यूँ हो जाए।
और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा,
राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल की राहत के सिवा।
अनगिनत सदियों के तारीक़ बहिमाना तिलिस्म,
रेशम-ओ-अतलस-ओ-कमख़्वाब में बनवाए हुए।
जा-ब-जा बिकते हुए कूचा-ओ-बाज़ार में जिस्म,
ख़ाक में लिथड़े हुए, ख़ून में नहलाए हुए।
जिस्म निकले हुए अमराज़ के तन्नूरों से,
पीप बहती हुई गलते हुए नासूरों से।
लौट जाती है उधर को भी नज़र, क्या कीजे,
अब भी दिलकश है तेरा हुस्न, मगर क्या कीजे।
और भी दुख हैं ज़माने में मोहब्बत के सिवा,
राहतें और भी हैं वस्ल की राहत के सिवा।
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग।
ChatGPT English Translation:
Do Not Ask Me for That Love Again, My Beloved
I had believed that if you were there, life would shine bright,
That your sorrow would eclipse all worldly plight.
Your visage lent permanence to spring’s delight,
What was there in the world beyond your sight?
If I attained you, fate would bow in grace,
It wasn’t so; I merely wished it to be the case.
There are other sorrows in the world than love’s domain,
Other comforts beyond the union’s gain.
Countless centuries’ dark and brutal spells,
Woven in silk, brocade, and ornate shells.
Bodies sold in markets, lanes, and squares,
Soiled in dust, bathed in blood’s despairs.
Bodies emerging from disease’s fiery core,
Pus oozing from festering sores.
My gaze returns to those scenes, what can I do?
Your beauty still enchants, but I am helpless too.
There are other sorrows in the world than love’s domain,
Other comforts beyond the union’s gain.
Do not ask me for that love again, my beloved.
Gemini Hindi Translation:
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग
मैंने सोचा था कि अगर तू है तो जीवन रोशन है,
तेरा दुख हो तो दुनिया के दुखों से क्या डरना।
तेरे चेहरे से ही बहारों को स्थिरता मिली,
तेरी आंखों के सिवा दुनिया में क्या रखा है।
अगर तू मिल जाए तो तक़दीर झुक जाए,
ऐसा नहीं था, मैंने बस चाहा था कि ऐसा हो।
इस मोहब्बत के सिवा और भी ग़म हैं इस ज़माने में,
इस मिलन की राहत के अलावा और भी सुकून हैं।
अनगिनत सदियों के अंधकारमय हिंसक जादू,
रेशम और कमख्वाब में लिपटे हुए।
गली-कूचों और बाजारों में बिकते हुए जिस्म,
मिट्टी से सने हुए, खून से नहाए हुए।
रोगों की भट्टियों से निकले हुए शरीर,
सड़ते हुए नासूरों से रिसते हुए पीप।
नज़र उधर भी लौट जाती है, क्या किया जाए,
तेरा हुस्न अब भी दिलकश है, पर क्या किया जाए।
इस मोहब्बत के सिवा और भी ग़म हैं इस ज़माने में,
इस मिलन की राहत के अलावा और भी सुकून हैं।
मुझसे पहली सी मोहब्बत मेरी महबूब न मांग।
Gemini English Translation:
Don’t Ask Me for That First Love Again, My Beloved
I thought that if you were with me, life would be full of light,
If I had your grief, I would not care for the world’s plight.
Your face brought springtime eternal to the land,
What else was worth having but your hand?
If I had you, destiny would kneel before me,
It wasn’t so – I merely wished it to be.
There are other pains in this world besides love,
Other comforts than union with you to think of.
Dark, brutal spells of countless past ages,
Woven in silk, in gold, in royal pages.
Bodies being sold in every street and lane,
Covered in dust, drenched in blood and pain.
Bodies burning in the furnace of disease,
Pus from wounds that never cease.
My eyes are drawn to those sights too, what can I do?
You’re still beautiful, but helpless, too.
There are other pains in this world besides love,
Other comforts than union with you to think of.
Don’t ask me for that first love again, my beloved.
2. COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS REPORT
a. Syntax, Sound, and Metre:
ChatGPT: Tries to retain both rhyme and flow. It balances literal meaning and poetic rhythm effectively, especially in the English version.
Gemini: More focused on conveying sense than maintaining poetic metre. Rhythm is often sacrificed for clarity.
Example:
ChatGPT: “If I attained you, fate would bow in grace” — keeps metaphor and flow.
Gemini: “If I had you, destiny would kneel before me” — plainer tone, similar meaning but less poetic.
b. Lexicon, Grammar, and Semiotics
ChatGPT: Tends toward more literary vocabulary ("soiled in dust, bathed in blood’s despairs").
Gemini: Uses simpler words ("drenched in blood and pain") — more accessible but less nuanced.
Grammar: Both handle grammatical consistency well, though ChatGPT's translation shows more stylistic variation.
c. Cultural Connotations and Collocations
ChatGPT: Retains metaphors like "vasl" (union), "tannur" (oven), "kamkhaab" (luxury fabric) by contextual paraphrasing.
Gemini: Tends to directly translate or flatten cultural idioms, sometimes reducing their impact.
Example:
Faiz’s lines about “bodies sold in bazaars” evoke exploitation and colonial trauma — ChatGPT preserves the horror more vividly.
d. Challenges and Resolutions
Untranslatable Phrases: Words like "वस्ल", "दरख़्शां", and "ग़म-ए-दहर" carry deep emotional and cultural weight.
ChatGPT Resolution: Uses poetic expansions.
Gemini Resolution: Chooses simpler or plainer equivalents.
ChatGPT’s "Countless centuries’ dark and brutal spells" is more evocative than Gemini’s "dark, brutal spells of countless past ages."
3. REFLECTION
a. Jakobson’s Theory (Linguistic equivalence):
- ChatGPT attempts intersemiotic translation — maintaining rhythm, emotional tone.
- Gemini focuses on interlingual equivalence — more literal, losing some emotive power.
b. Catford’s Shifts:
- Both tools perform level and category shifts, but ChatGPT retains stylistic equivalence better.
c. G. N. Devy (Linguistic and Cultural Colonialism):
- Faiz’s anti-colonial imagery (bodies in markets, rich fabrics as illusions) is better preserved in ChatGPT.
- Gemini simplifies these symbols, potentially diminishing their critical power.
d. A. K. Ramanujan (Context-sensitive translation):
- ChatGPT aligns with Ramanujan’s view — keeping cultural allusions while rendering emotional equivalence.
- Gemini veers towards flat meaning, sometimes reducing poetic density.
Conclusion: Which Tool Performed Better?
- ChatGPT offers more poetic, nuanced, and rhythmically faithful translations.
- Gemini is simpler and clearer, but loses much of the poem’s cultural and emotional depth.
For academic and literary study, ChatGPT is preferable.
Thank you!!
